“”And the fog of what is right Won’t cover us ’cause you know me- I could not give up a fight…””

The roars of the mundane hold reality only in he presence of their temporal noise. The smiles of the special timelessly hold sway in the halls of the mysteries. Addy, as one alum to another, I await our discussion of the wonders beyond Plato’s Cave. It has been evident for a while that the swadows held you but for the shortest of time. On the other hand, it has taken me 36 years of all due diligence to reduce my shadows to few. I do not mind, in this instance, admitting that my 168 IQ has been easily surpassed by six years of life approached in an exemplary manner. But just because you are my hero does not mean we are not going to continue this fight–love and respect filled fight–a few more steps down the road. Until then, I will try to live better and maybe you will have absorbed the Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. It is a date to which I greatly look forward.

Sometimes, when one listens too intently for what is to be said, one misses most of what is communicated. I doubt you missed it, but rather believe it is the case that the reality of it seems pale because you do not have a name to place upon the rest of the communication. There is a Chinese term (that due to age blocking some memories I can’t recall the exact term at the moment) that existentially stands for the great accomplishments that can come to pass through the lack of activity. Too bad we do not have a word for that concept in our language. I guess the fact that we are a people who have it drilled into us that we must engage in activit to make good things happen blinds us to the fact that grand things take place very often and are the sorts of things that can only take place without our efforts polluting their path. It is something of a long subject and would be unwise to attempt an explication of the matter in the forum.

Give yourself permission to be imperfect, because you are going to be imperfect whether you grant permission or not. Once you accomplish that feat, then regrets morph into the mere realization that you just didn’t soak up the full value of a given situation. And you know what? Because you are human, you will never absorb the full value of all situations. You are very lucky to absorb the full value of even a few situations. But, to take some heart, just because a situtation has moved beyond its temporal moment does not mean that it has moved out of existence. It remains to be revisited and to provide greater wisdom and meaning.

I am sure you did not take it for granted, you are just now more sensitive to what you did not take full advantage of during that time. Again, forgive yourself. We are flawed, It is our nature that we never take full advanage of a wonderful situation, or even recognize it as a wonderful situation until later. It is the nature of the type of creature we are. So, it makes no more sense to blame yourself for that than it would to blame yourself for being unable to breath under water. You don’t have gills. You can’t do it. I have beat myself up a lot in the past but over time found the reality that I was expecting me to be something that is not part of the skills of my species. The only regrets I have left are the regrets that arise from the times I made you cry. That was something I could control and I didn’t.


It now begins

8th car we saw tonight. This one happened to be parked so I could capture it. My how you infested this city. The walls of the most guarded hearts. You broke all boundaries and I am so proud to have been your mom. Each day I give a small yes for addy. I know it’s late, but may it be something. I love you honey.