A Letter To The Ex Who Put Me Through Hell


Thought Catalog

Our relationship wasn’t perfect. Neither were you or I. We were two lost ships floating in the night that found each other. We were both struggling to find our place in the world. I believed you could provide what I needed. You were attractive and charismatic and at first all you wanted was me. I was in an awful place. You found value in what I thought was worthless. You liked me and I couldn’t understand why.

A few months in I started to realize my mistakes. You drank a lot and you were insulting. If I wasn’t doing things your way you spent your time belittling me. It got old really quick. You picked on my anxiety condition and my weight. My imperfections bothered you. Or so I believed they did. We both made a lot of mistakes; perhaps one of them was spending time together in the first…

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20 Things You Might Not Like But Have To Accept When You’re In A Relationship


Thought Catalog

Shutterstock / PressmasterShutterstock / Pressmaster

Love in fact, does not concur all. It’s a common misconception that if you love someone, everything else will work itself out, but love alone is not enough.

Acceptance is what will get you through to the other side. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that you can choose it for exactly what it is. Because when you do choose it for what it is and what it isn’t, it brings something entirely new into your world.

Once there is acceptance you bring peace and change to your energy, and from there anything you create with the person you love is possible.

That’s not to say that you must accept everything in your relationship. You shouldn’t accept any abuse, physically or emotionally, and you must establish your deal breakers along with making sure you are compatible, have similar…

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14 Struggles Only Women Who Get Ready Faster Than Their Significant Others Understand

Bahahahaha! #spoton

Thought Catalog

Drinking BuddiesDrinking Buddies

1. When you get home from work and your significant others says, “hey babe, are you gonna change before dinner?” Is that a real question? Of course not. You rarely change after work. You’re wearing jeans, like, do you really need to get much classier than that to go get Thai food around the corner?

2. You two as a pair are always late for things and you always get blamed for it, even when it’s your partner’s fault.

3. Just because their hair happens to be 11 inches shorter than yours does not mean yours takes 11 times longer to do. On the contrary, long hair can be left down, or tied into a knot at the top of your head. Yet somehow no amount of gel that is 90% melted plastic can remedy short hair.

4. People generally assume that your eyeliner or mascara is perfect…

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For the dogs 

Tuesday’s are always a mess. We got to almost finish the room. Poor dogs. Addy got bathed and dyed and Kato got a severe haircut. It’s been a long week with no ac, but can’t complain. Watching my paw paw slowly go has been so painful. When I go to Asheville he talks about me as a child, along with Addison.  The times that hurt are when he forgets who I am. First words in the door were “of everyone to come see me, I’m so glad it’s you.” We have got to talk about so many things and people and catch up. Although I am not happy with his path, I am at comfort with it. It’s rare that we get to create our goodbyes. To be able to shut the door peacefully with nothing left unsaid. For this, I am blessed. I find a ton of peace knowing that addy will be waiting for him. I, sadly, find more peace in knowing that he’ll be there with her. He’s always been her favorite (as well as my own). Watching your “dad” pass is never easy, but having a heads up and saying all that is unsaid is a true blessing. For this, I continue to thank God. Each day is a blessed one. It’s never how I intended, but it’s always amazing.  I can’t quit laughing my ass off, despite.  


2 weeks ago, it was all OK

I have been following this phenomenal woman. Her loss is tragic. We must always remember what we have. What we take for granted. Something we gripe about. If you baby is crying late at night, know that it is anothers wish to hear that very sound.

Confessions of Little Miss PMA

We were given the news we spent 20 weeks waiting for…a perfectly healthy baby. We’d done it, finally.

For 9 days, all was well, hubby and i were the happiest we’d ever been. Nothing could touch us, we were invinceable.

The day before we met her, she was kicking me so hard it was hard to concentrate. The next day she was gone.

I cant make any sense of it, in less than 24hrs, something ended this pregnancy. I had no say in it, no idea it was happening. How bad a Mum am i? I just cannot protect my children.  Or at least thats how it feels.

With Milo we had time to deal with the diagnosis and time to make the decision, time to come to terms with what was happening.

Millie was so FAST. Contractions start at 4pm, waters go at about 7.15pm and at 7.48pm she…

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Amas veritas

Came home to this necklace from my Nerdies. It’s a urn to carry Addison RiRis ashes around my neck everyday and its an anchor; as she was mine. Every day I am blown away at the measures he takes to keep me completely elated while also incorporating Addison into our family. Fully realizing, although gone in body, she’s still my world. For this man I am eternally grateful. I’ve never felt so loved in my life. I only hate that she never got to meet him. God bless a real gentleman. You sir are what my dreams are made of. “Amas veritas” you existed even though I made you impossible.  

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ― Dr. Seuss

The music of my life. Little bit of a melt down yesterday missing my munk. Everyone understood and lifted me up in good spirits. I know she was with me in spirit and I could hear her laughing along side me. She’d have loved these two.

God is good.





Green grass. Endless pastures.

Travel is necessary for the soul

its been a non stop month since our last vacation. It’s time to recognize when you need to get away and replenish. I’ve never been to Nashville.  Super stoked. Ready to meet new family. I came home to dresses from my mother in law. Everything is so much different than anything I’ve ever experienced. Dax sat me down and asked if I was taking addys ashes with me. I had to explain to him that she’s with me everywhere. As I wish she were coming, I’m well assured that she’ll show me that she’s there. Nashvegas, here we come. Considering my past, life is now what dreams are made of. Until then; updates Wednesday.