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BitchScopes: The Bitter Bitchy Truth Of The Zodiac

and…………I just peed a little. Okay, a lot.

Thought Catalog


(March 21st to April 19th)

They suck at foreplay. Excellent at getting an erection at a minute’s notice, and perfect for a quickie – but totally suck at foreplay. That’s probably because Aries is also known as the infant of the zodiac, and thus the entire concept of “your wants and desires” is alien to them. However, no matter how smart they are, they’re also the easiest to con. Just appeal to their egos and be a damsel in distress.


(April 20th to May 21st)

There’s a reason why the word “bully” contains the word “bull”. Represented by the planet Venus, Taurus men and women will always surround themselves by people less attractive than them as it feeds their inherent narcissism to be the “prettiest of them all”. Don’t be fooled by their seemingly cuddly selves, they love their home, their money, their dog, and most of all…

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