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If You’re Afraid Of Love Because You’re Afraid Of Loss: This Is For You

Thought Catalog

twenty20_ig-407509608305047161_14251324 (1) via Summer

A few years ago, I realized I needed to lose some weight. As soon as I was conscious of it, I was also suddenly hyper-aware of my overeating. I chalked it up to finally taking note of my daily habits, but then something strange emerged.

I would try to write: I intend to lose weight, and yet, I knew that wasn’t true. I would eat more. I would order fries and sit eating them not so much feeling bad that I was having them but that I had this lapse in awareness, one in which I acted conversely to what I believed I wanted, without even realizing I was acting at all.

I intend to lose weight, is what I would try to say. But it wasn’t the truth, and I didn’t understand how or why or for what reason it wouldn’t be.

I did not intend…

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