When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars

Edit, 4 years ago ILY 🌙🌎

Today, two years ago, I received a phone call at work. I felt really sick that morning. I never worked Tuesdays. I worked that Tuesday. It was addison’s dad. Crying. I had never in 7 years heard him cry. “You need to get to the hospital” me “what’s going on? What’s wrong”

Justin “I don’t know (sobbing) the police won’t let me leave. She’s in an ambulance to brenners”

Me “is she alive Justin!?”

Justin “I don’t know”

I am scrambled. I leave and I can’t wrap my brain around how to get to the hospital. I know something’s wrong and I can’t find the best way. I call my sister. No answer. I call my dad. “Addy is dead. I know it. I can feel it”

Dad “I can’t understand you danielle. Stop crying.” I call my sister again. No answer. I call my aunt (my sis and aunt work at the same school.) No answer. I call my mom repeatedly and her phones off. I know but I don’t know. I can feel a hole in me; but I don’t know. I arrive at brenners. They let me in like everything is ok. Give me a visitor sticker. ( inner me, she’s ok. Thank God) Sheriffs surround me. I ask where my daughter is. No one will answer me. I see the look on their faces. I start kicking and punching demanding to see her. She’s gone. She never woke up. She was in a room right beside me. Tube still in her mouth for oxygen and blood all around her mouth from the ribs broken trying to resistate her (sp) suddenly everyone was there. I don’t know how or why, but I knew; and they came. I laid down with her. Staring at her. Waiting on her to move. I swear she did, but I needed that. I needed this to not be the truth. She was gone. I have never loved nothing as much as I love her.

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Yodas home

Long two weeks with no car. So very blessed to have friends like Jonathan. You have to be a good friend to have a good friend. No more car pooling though, as fun as it was. Happy birthday to the best person I may actually know; sister aside. You have to kick some people out of your life to focus on the good ones. Soak up the joy; throat punch the drama. One happy hannah. Happy weekend all.